Truth and Consequences

My Mom Is Always Right

She may not have made these up herself, but she uses them better than anyone else:

"Common sense is not so common."

"Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining." (This one was from Judge Judy but my mom says it, too)

"Waste not, want not."

"98% of people are schmucks." (This was something her friend's dad said. He was a CPA, she always makes sure to mention)

And the grand finale of rightness:

"You're pretty lucky."

Happy New Year!

Since time is totally made up, I have decided that a new year is upon us. My friend Caite once blew my mind (she's blown my mind many times, mind you) when she explained that any day could be the first day of the year if you wanted it to be. So, I decided that next Sunday will in fact be the first day of the new year.

This year, which has taken about 10 calendar years, has been weird. That's the only word I feel truly works whenever I try to explain or organize all that's transpired. Crazy amounts of weird. Some of it very good, some of it very bad. In some ways, it feels like these past 10 years have been a condensed lifetime. And at the same time, I feel like I only scratched the surface of what's to come. I like that. I like that I know myself pretty well, but not perfectly. It's like I mastered the omelettes of life's cuisines. Sort of basic, sure, but once you get the process down, you can really dress it up and make it something great. And everyone knows omelettes are the gateway dishes to the rest of the culinary world.

So, I guess the theme of this new year (which will be as long as I feel like, thankyouverymuch) will be learning  to adapt my culinary knowledge to the new ingredients life throws at me. Happy New Year!

Mona's Law

"You can have a hot apartment, a hot lover, and a hot job, but you can't have all three at the same time."

-Armistead Maupin, "Tales of the City"

The Truest Thing You'll Ever Learn:

Karma Is Only A Bitch If You Are