Hello from The Future

A few thoughts:

-when you're lost in Sydney, chances are, so are 4 of the 5 people you ask directions from.
-never underestimate the power of lyrical knowledge when meeting new people. This is especially true with regard to Michael Jackson.
-USA colloquialisms are novel when said by non-USA residents. This is especially true with regard to the terms "word up" and "bitch, please."
-the words "take away" are synonymous with "take out" in other parts of the world, which is confusing when ordering take out.
-Thanksgiving tastes great no matter where you are, as long as there's a sweet potato involved.
-making friends with boys who have girlfriends is a risky venture, unless said girlfriend speaks little to no English and is far away. In short, boys who have girlfriends should date girls who live far away and don't speak English.
-taking the bus in another country is not nearly as difficult as it was in Pittsburgh.
-just because it's hot outside doesn't mean I can eat ice cream for every meal. Probably.
-even if it is Christmas time, hot chocolate in 100+ degree weather just doesn't make sense.
-the best part of waking up is apple juice in your cup, to an Australian.
-everyone will know you're an American if you ask for the rest room instead of the toilet.
-everyone will also know you're American if you say "I'm good" instead of "no thanks" in response to "would you like some more [apple juice]?"
-Subway (as in the sandwich shop---yes, they're all over the Western world) smells like Subway no matter where you are, which when you think about it, isn't as comforting as you'd hope, since Subway should smell like the ingredients and not...Subway. (This one's courtesy of Tom)

Some witty Sydneysider t-shirts I've seen on the Harbour Bridge:

"My other body is a temple. This one's a slut."

"Beer makes you smarter. It made Bud wiser."

[front]: I <3 Sydney
[back]: Your mother!

"Somebody who loves me went to Australia and got me this lousy t-shirt and it's too damn small!"--seen on a very fat child.



More to come.


Updated since Melbourne:

-of all the ironic Kenny Rogers shirts I've seen, none was more touching than the Obama-face Kenny Rogers shirt I saw on a very old Indian woman.
-Australians ask "how are you going?" instead of "how are you doing?" and I always stop and think about my directions, and they always stop and think it means "not good."
-calling fries "chips" does not change the fact that $5 for a small is just too much.
-Melbourne is the city of trams and it feels like I'm in Disney World all the time, which I like.
-if you call it "goon" and make a face after you drink it, for some reason, everyone will want you to pour them a cup.
-spending $40 for paella, even really good paella, sucks.
-Australians say "I reckon" like cowboys do in John Wayne movies.
-there's a "Princeton" and "East Brunswick" here which doesn't make me homesick but does make me worry that I'll run into someone I know until I remember I'm in Australia.

Updated since Cairns:

-just because someone says, "don't worry, you'll be fine" doesn't always mean it's true, with specific regard to diving.
-egregious Australian misspellings:
tyre vs. tire
learnt vs. learned
honour vs. honor
centre vs. center
aluminium vs. aluminum (fair, they are different words but still)
oreganno vs. oregano
-everyone is barefoot here, even the rich people.
-people in other countries love to hear about College.
-if you're from South Africa and don't tell me, I don't think it's fair to get offended if I can't tell you're not from Australia.
-you can tell a lot about a person by the way they load a dishwasher.
-there seems to be a dearth in the amount of public trash cans (called rubbish bins) and subsequently, too much garbage on the sidewalks.
-people walk left and pass right here, just like they drive.

Updated since Byron Bay:

-calling cotton candy "fairy floss" makes me want to buy all of it.
-carob-covered bananas might be the best thing I've ever eaten.
-every single Israeli does not know one another, but almost.