In Case You Wanted To Know

Commodoties I Miss From Home:

1. Good, strong hair ties. Australians just don't understand.

2. Mascara that costs less than $15.00.

3. Baby carrots.


Dating Tips for Australian Men from an American 24 year-old-not-yet-Woman:

1. If you are bald by choice, I am unavailable by necessity.

2. If you offer to buy me a drink after telling me that you are from Bourke (the Outback) and that you don't have a place to stay tonight, I will refuse that drink. Being from the Outback is not a trump card.

3. If you have a beard that goes to your chest, it will squander any chances of love I may have taken on you. I'm really, really sorry.

4. If you don't own other shirts besides tank tops, I support that, but from a distance.

5. Please, for the love of all things decent, stop calling me "doll" unless you're an octogenarian OR Patsy from "Absolutely Fabulous."


Observations I've Made About Other People Since Working as a Housekeeper:

1. There are 2 kinds of people who stay at hostels: those who have no money and those who hate spending money.

2. If you leave an unattended can of tuna in the kitchen, the contents will be consumed and the can will remain for days, with the lid replaced and can stuffed with paper towel to *look* like it's still full.

3. Rather than take out the trash, people will hide their garbage all over the hostel. Specifically people like to put trash in flower pots and underneath used towels.

4. Non-English speakers are generally nicer to "the help" though make grosser messes.

5. People from the UK are a crapshoot. Swedes are wonderful. Germans are everywhere. French women can kiss my ass but the men don't have to, and generally, Israelis are just out of their fucking minds.


More to come, I'm sure.